I have gained a personal knowledge of adoption and abortion and I wish that each of us could gain our own understanding so that when it comes time for us or someone we know to make a decision we will be ready. I hope that when a decision is being made about an “un”expectant pregnancy all factors are taken into consideration, especially the factor of potential for both mother and child.
I call to each of you who have been informed, to share these dangers of abortion and spread the good news of adoption.
A woman who died too young because her secret destroyed her. I am a woman who brought two very wanted children into this world.
And I have some thoughts about how we talk about adoption and abortion. I fantasized she had named me Caroline, and that we looked exactly alike.
With every detail, with every similarity, with every photograph, it wasn’t Gloria I was finding, it was myself.
I was just like her, and being and looking like someone healed wounds I didn’t know I had.
I was usually responsible about my contraception, save for one night in 1991, when I forgot to put in my diaphragm. I tell ours because no woman should drown in a bath of shame, and no child should live a life wading through it. I believed that story because for thirty one years, it was all I had. What was true, was that on January 12th, 1968, Gloria Gerwin was rushed to the emergency room of New York Hospital suffering from severe stomach pain. She did not know she was pregnant, nor did anyone in her life.
My then boyfriend -the son of a diplomat with diplomatic immunity- demanded we get married when I told him I was pregnant. I was not ready for motherhood, my life at the time was not one any child deserved, and I could not have lived with myself if I put a child up for adoption. THE STORYMy adoptive parents openly shared with me the story of my birth the adoption agency told them: I was surrendered for adoption by a woman who had moved to New York City to hide her pregnancy from her family. Later, her brother Tom -the only person who knew of my birth- would tell Gloria’s best friend that Gloria had undergone emergency surgery to clear an intestinal blockage.
I am grateful to everyone who forgave my lies and welcomed me in.
Each person I found generously shared whatever information they had, and each recounted stories of Gloria that vividly brought her to life.