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Friends are the family we choose, and they are there for us through everything. I was pretty excited to become her friend and felt especially stoked that she invited me to register for hip hop dance classes at a new studio not far from our house (this would later become my second home for the next 12 years and had a great impact on the person I became, so, thank you Sonja).This I can say is true as I’ve been the recipient of this loyalty, and it is no longer just a cliche to me anymore. Although she quickly learned hockey, ringette and volleyball were more her thing, she stayed in dance a little longer to appease me, but also came to watch and support me.That’s absurd and I still wonder how Sonja still does it) Sonja kept calling. When I was home in Calgary for a month she had me over, she distracted me with her baking, she brought me on errands, and she talked to me. She never judges me and always tries to see my side.
I really admired her ability to be herself and I would often try being more myself because of her example.
Looking back I find it remarkable that she was able to be so confident and awesome at 14.
We’ve always stayed in touch (like she full on wrote me letters and sent gifts from Norway! ), but we really got close again in the last couple years. I didn’t know who I was, I physically couldn’t function, and at times felt completely alone.
No one prepared me for the heartbreak, confusion and profound loss I was feeling. She answered her phone while in New York for work, while in LA for work, and while in Nashville for a fun trip, as each time I sobbed with more and more bad news.
If entering junior high with a buzz cut isn’t a sign of a loyal friend I don’t know what is!
Junior high was relatively painless (once our hair grew in 😉 hehe), and I am the first to admit it’s in part because I had Sonja.Of course putting hundreds of pubescent and hormonal girls (and guys) together is a recipe for drama, Sonja always had my back.It didn’t really matter how much another girl could my feelings, because I knew Sonja would make sure I was okay and felt important, and she would even stick up for me.Sonja has helped me see that it’s just the beginning.She has helped me remember that I’m still the same person I’ve always been, and people and circumstances don’t define me.Sonja has called me every single day since that awful day a few months ago. And while these daily phone calls each on their own are rather small, they, as a whole have changed my life.She used to call me for her 25 minute drive to work but it seems like that wasn’t enough time for us to cover everything and lately she’s started calling me while she gets ready in addition to the drive. I get out of bed because I look forward to that morning chat.This Email Newsletter Privacy Statement may change from time to time and was last revised 5 June, 2018. There is no manual on friendship, and even if there was we are all different and our expectations and needs are unique. We have so many friends when we are kids, in part because everyone we meet becomes a friend but also because our lives are simple and so a good friend is a lot easier. She was really tall, kind of loud (but in a good way) and hilarious.Of course there’s an entire section in bookstores on Relationships, but the focus is always on romance, rarely platonic friendships. She exceled at sports, the teachers loved her, and she had so many friends.Yet we value those relationships as much as (or more than) we value romantic relationships. But not just the cool kids, see, Sonja was everyone’s friend.