I would hope to find someone who tips the scale in the right direction. I know no one is perfect, but some people are more selfish than others. But a good person will try and give of their time, their money, their efforts, and energy to the people they care about. Nearly two centuries before the French philosopher Alain Badiou examined the delicate psychoemotional machinery of why we fall and stay in love, his compatriot Stendhal set out to outline the dark side of life’s most radiant experience in his “crystallization” theory of the seven stages of infatuation and disillusionment.
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It touches them, and then they will most likely feel like shit for being a brat to you and apologize and you both can go about your day loving each other. They call it codependent when one person is doing all the giving.
The best relationships have a perfectly split 50/50 of give and take.
You don’t have to be perfect for the person that loves you.
And give them the space and permission to be just as human. A few who I actually believe understood me and got me enough to fully appreciate me.
You surprise them with little gifts that are unique to them or the two of you. So that person you are dating or in a relationship with. Life is too short to give your heart to someone who doesn’t fully appreciate you. My brother fell for his now wife quickly, but I know other couples who it took them months, and others who broke up a few times and finally settled into love.
Would they have to scratch their head if someone asked them why they love you? Maybe they are just ignorant and can’t appreciate a good thing when it smacks them in the face.
If you can’t come up with at least five or so reasons from that question easily, you do not love me.
People are largely mistaken on what true love really is.
Now when I see this trait in a man, I want to vomit. He’s a divided man and I can only hope and pray he changes one day.
I leave if there’s more selfishness than selflessness. This is just something that personally triggers me.